Sermon, Metro Baptist Church 11-26-06

Living in New York has been my dream since I was 13 years old and visited here for the first time. But even before that I dreamed about the US. I remember when I was 5, my great grandparents and my grandmother´s sister came visiting from here. I remember I got a New York t-shirt from them and a beautiful pink princess like dress. My great grand parents, who lived in Florida, were suntanned and they told me about that they had a tree with oranges in their garden, something that off course sounded very dream like for someone like me, who only had seen apple trees and raspberry bushes so far. I think that was when the dream about America started to grow. My dream is in no ways unique. All around the world, people dream about United States as the land of freedom and opportunities. Some of them, like me get to live their dreams, other continues to dream but never get the chance to get here, while others again realizes that the freedom and opportunities was not for them, and the dream becomes more of a nightmare. The US is if not the kingdom, so at least the country of dreams for many, where you can dress like a princes and live like a king.

In the Kingdoms, or in the countries, of this world you need documents that prove that you are allowed to be where you are. I realized how important that is when Leighanne and I took a short daytrip to Tihuana, Mexico when we were on a road trip this summer. This is my I-20 (showing it). This is a form what proves that I am legally here as a student. “This is as important as your Visa and your passport”, they told me when I came from Sweden in January. I kind of forgot that when we went to Mexico, and they didn´t ask for it when we entered in to Mexico. After four hours there, we were going back to San Diego. That was the point when I realized the importance of bringing the right papers as a foreigner.

“Where is your I-20”, said the man at the border. “Ehhmm..in New York”, I said immediately knowing that I had forgotten something very important. I had to pull over, park the car behind a building, stand in a line where somebody told me it was very VERY stupid of me to forget my I-20. To make a long story short, I can say that that night was about standing in four different lines, being scolded by four big, border men, who told me that “I had to go back to Mehico” and there call somebody in NY who could Fed Ex my papers to me. Anyway, after being humiliated and laughed at (apparently they found it pretty funny to have this Swedish seminary student there at the border, without her right papers,) and even more obvious was that this was just a play. There was never a real risk for me to not be allowed back into the country -I think. They just wanted me to feel ashamed for a while. Then they told me I needed to pay 6 dollars and then I could come back to the US (which I wasn´t sure if I had, since I had done a lot of shopping in Tijuana). I know that if I hadn´t been Swedish, if I had been from Afganistan or Iraq or Guatemala? even from the neighbor country, Mexico the story most probably would have ended very differently.

Anyway, I didn´t have the right papers, so I paid the 6 dollars, which I must say is a ridiculously small amount compared to what a lot of people pay to come to USA. Some people don´t have to pay, but they have to prove in many ways that they are worthy or good enough to get here. For instance, I have a friend who won her green card in a lottery. To get it, she had to prove that she didn´t have any disgusting diseases and that she was that kind of person that the country of United States could be proud to have.

In the countries of this world, we need the right documents which prove that we belong. Some of us have to pay (some more, some less), some have to prove that they are healthy while some simply are born with the “right citizenship”.

“My kingdom is not of this world”, Jesus said when he was standing, humiliated and alone in front of Pilate. The kingdom of God is not like the countries of this world. The kingdom of God is different. You can´t get the“right papers” that proves that you belong to the kingdom of God. None of us possesses the I-20 that proves that we have the right to enter into this kingdom of God. None of us have citizenship documents, so none of us actually belong there. A lot of times I get the impression that what peoples believes about the kingdom of God, or their believes about what the Church teaches about the kingdom of God is, is just like this: We are going to stand in front of the powerful God, humiliated and scolded at, just like you have to do if you don´t bring the right papers to the American border patrol (if you are not American of course), and prove that we belong as well as pay a fine.

But it is not like that because Jesus Christ has already done that for us. The Bible tells us that the Kingdom now is open for us all, because Jesus was humiliated, abandoned and killed as a human, and with his divine power overcame the forces of death and destruction. We aren´t granted a place just because we “belong to the right teaching” that we have confessed with our tongues that “Jesus is lord”. You don´t belong there even if your offerings are 3000 dollars instead of 6. In the same way, you are not more suspiciously met because your name sounds like Ahmad, Mohammad or Rodriguez. You belong because God says that you do. Because Christ is King.

Entering into the kingdom of God is actually free, because the kingdom is for those who can´t afford paying, and none of us can. Entering the kingdom of God, you don´t have to pass a health test, because the kingdom is actually for the sick ones, as all of us are. Entering the Kingdom of God you don´t have to prove that you can be a strong and appropriate citizen of the Kingdom, because the kingdom of God is actually for the weak and inappropriate ones, and all of us are inappropriate in the Kingdom of God. The kingdom is for the sick and poor, the humiliated and for the unseen, the discriminated and the oppressed, for those who seem to be ridiculous and strange to us. None of us belong in the Kingdom of God, but all of us are welcomed. That is the paradox of the kingdom of God, because our King is a king of the weak ones, and a king of sinners. He is the king of those who don´t belong at all, of those who appear crazy and weird or stupid sometimes. The strange ones! The voiceless ones! For them, for us is Christ the King.

So who is this king? All this talk about being weak. Is he only some kind of compassionate liberal who actually just want people to stay in their weakness and feel good there, so that he can gather people to his “kingdom of sickness” and so that he can seem to be much more powerful himself? And how about us who live our good lives, us who have all the money that we need, seldom sad, never confessing weakness or humiliation. Is not the kingdom for us?

First of all, I don´t think that any of us can claim to be happy or strong all the time. So that opens the kingdom to all of us. Second, Jesus is the King of all creation, who loves his whole creation just like we are. But he hates the forces that push his people down. Jesus Christ hates oppression, discrimination and falseness, whether it comes from the world outside of us or from inside ourselves. Before Pilate, Jesus´ followers weren´t there when he most had needed them. He knows what it means to be abandoned by his own people and he doesn´t want us to experience the same thing. So when we feel a little bit stronger, when we feel all right and are in a position of what the kingdom of this world would call “superior”, we need to open our eyes and reach out to our fellow citizens. The world itself consists of a broken community. Our king tells us that it is ridiculous and stupid to claim that “alone is strong” and that strong is good, because what the story about Jesus tells us is that it was in the greatest of weakness, (tortured and dying upon a cross), Jesus did the greatest of all actions. Our king knows that life is hard sometimes, our king knows that life is fragile, and that we can feel weak. We can feel just as weak as he was himself in front of this powerful Pilate, just as broken as he was upon the cross. And that is why we have to reach out to each other. We need to trust each other, and help as well as being helped.

That is what Christ requires from his citizens, from us, that we work against oppression and discrimination in this world. But how? By joining a peace organization? That is good. By working for a socially councious church? That is excellent. By minister to people? That’s great, by having the correct opinions, being aware of what is going on in the world, reacting against violence, walking a march? Fine. Good. Do all those things. But just remember that they are not going to help you pay your way into the kingdom of God because Jesus has already paid for us all. All these kind of things are great, and they make a big difference in the kingdom of this world where we actually are living as well, but what distinguishes us as a citizen of the Kingdom of God is that we live lives of love and compassion for your neighbor and for ourselves.

Don´t forget to love your neighbor! Do not forget to see your neighbor! Turn around and look at the person beside you this morning. He or she is your neighbor. The one that is closest to us. It is a great thing to help with things around the world, but also remember that beside us, where we are, we might have one of our brothers or sisters, friends and church members or maybe even ourselves that actually is in the need of our love NOW. That means that we have to be personal. Nothing for a New Yorker? Right. That is scary. It might be easier to help people in the street, or give money to a peace organization. In many ways, being personal means making yourself vulnerable. And vulnerable we are. It is only as vulnerable ones, that we can give and receive help.

Listen to them, talk to them, see them, love them! Let us also see and listen to you. Let us also help you! No, it might not give you any credits on the “super savior of the world” scale, but like I said, those Credits do not mean anything in the kingdom of God anyway. And we have to have our own wounds healed, the wounds within our own family, within ourselves, if we are going to be able to reach out to the world outside of our church. We need to encourage each other, so that we can work strong together for the kingdom of God.

In the kingdom of this world the strongest is the best. In the kingdom of this world you can rank people who belong and who do not. Here you can always buy yourself a better spot. In the Kingdom of God, you can´t because, like I said, Christ has already done that for us. In the Kingdom of God it is all about love. In fact I believe that the Kingdom of God actually is where the love exists among people. Love that is given but also received.

Starting A Journey From Home

- A Swedes meeting with the Afro American Culture

I come from a land of fairy tales. A country in the north, where the forests are deep, where the people are blue eyed and blond haired, tall and beautiful. The air in my land is pure and crisp and every breath you take feels so bright, like you are filled with new life over and over again. The water of the lakes is clear as crystal and you can drink it directly from the source and that is what makes the people live to be very old. The winters are cold and sparkling from snow. Winter is also the season when the people go skiing in the mountains. In the afternoon, when it is getting dark, they all go inside, tuck themselves in front of the fireplace and tell each other stories from the past. Summer is warm and comfortable. The summer nights are light and long, and a scent of fragrance from flowers is in the air. In one of the most beautiful castles of the country, lives the king. With wisdom and justice he rules over his citizens. Everyone is treated as equals and shares the supplies of the country equally.

INTRODUCTION

Traveling is the best way to learn about other people and other cultures. It gives perspective and helps you see things in different ways. Perhaps the culture you learn most about though, is your own culture. Perhaps the people you will know the best after a while, is your own, and the person you have come the closest, is yourself. At least that is what seems to have happened to me so far during my stay in New York. I am going to try to express some of these thoughts and experiences I have had since I came to the US. Most of it is going to be about my meeting with the Afro American culture. The way I am writing is in a personal way, based upon my own experiences. I am going to talk about my people in a way that is not based upon empirical facts, but on my interpretation of the Swedish people, with the perspective from where I am right now. It is always risky to write about a people in this way, and I am aware that I might stereotype sometimes, and give a description that is not representative for a large number of Swedes. But living in Sweden for 27 years, with a short interruption for a while in Paris, I would say that I know them pretty well, the Swedish people. Another fact is also, that the Swedish person I know the best, is just like I said, myself, and of course, I have to be aware as well as I want you to be, that “the Swedish person” I am talking about, might very much be a projection of myself. More than I wish, and that I first might be willing to admit. An important part of learning to know others is that one has to learn to know oneself. To be aware of and admit one´s own bad sides is important in that process. That is why I mostly talk about the Swedish people in first person. I make a few connections to what other people have written, but mostly, I focus on my own understanding.


EXPECTATIONS

When I came to United States, I would say that I came with no expectations. I had visited the country three times before, and I loved it from the first time I came here. Even though I had missed New York, and longed for going back there ever since I was 13, I cannot say that I knew what to expect it would be like to actually live here. I thought I would love it, but I was also aware of the difficulties that might follow with living in another country. A couple of years ago, I lived in Paris. Even though I loved Paris, and I would like to live there again, I found it hard sometimes to deal with the cultural differences that exist between Sweden and France. When it comes to being a student at NYTS, I actually did not know much about what it would be like. I knew that it would be different from being a student at my Swedish school - Stockholm School of Theology, but not really in what way. I had heard that a large number of the students were Koreans and Afro Americans and that there also was a good possibility of studying liberation theology, which attracted me, since the contact I had had with liberation theology so far, had opened up a lot for me when it came to the Christian faith. To me it all sounded interesting and exciting. I knew that I was supposed to stay in Metro Baptist Church in Hell´s Kitchen, Manhattan. A church I barely knew more about than that they seemed to do a great job when it came to social work. It also sounded very interesting, since I have always felt strongly that the gospel has much to do with the poor and the marginalized. It all seemed to have the best conditions for me to have a good semester in New York.

The days before I left Sweden, I had trouble really focusing because the trip was on my mind. Even though I packed almost all of my belongings into boxes, and put them in the basement of the house where I was living, I did not have the feeling that I would go away for months. Not even when I went to the airport or when I boarded my flight, could I really understand, or get the feeling that I was going away to the city I longed for for years. And I remember that it disappointed me a bit. Then, early evening, January 16th glimpsing the lights of Manhattan far beneath me, I started to realize that I very soon was going to put my feet on the ground of Manhattan and when the wheels of the plane hit the ground, I just felt “I am home”.

Saying this, it would be unfair of me to say that I did not have any expectations on my stay in New York. I believe that my expectations were really high, and I can only say that I entered this country with love and embracement.


EXPERIENCES

Love and embracement were also the responses I met when I came here. I found the city just as wonderful as I remembered it since the last time I was here. I found Metro Baptist Church to be a church that well matched my spiritual and theological needs for what I want the congregation I attend to be. Quickly, I had made a lot of new friends in the city. The contacts in my new American cell phone consisted of almost as many new names, diverse of personalities as invitations to different churches and denominations.

I remember, back in Sweden, filling in the application form for NYTS, I was concerned, coming to the part where I was supposed to fill in what race I belong to. We never actually talk about race in Sweden, and I felt uneasy about it. Talking about race for me, leads my thoughts to Nazi Germany and the ethnic cleansing that took place there during World War II. I remember talking to my friend, born in Sweden of Syrian parents, about it. She wondered what she, who knew herself to be as much Swedish as I am, would have filled in. Probably Arabian, was the solution we came to. She just laughed. She did not feel Arabic at all. What about my friend, adopted from India? Why bother about his race, when he has been living almost all his life in Sweden, raised by Swedish parents and known himself to be as Swedish as I am. To me it just did not make any sense. Why bother about race at all? I am not sure if I had any conception what it would be like to be the only white person in a context. Why? I ask myself afterwards. I find at least two answers. First, because we very rarely talk about race in Sweden and perhaps, I have been the only white person present in a setting, but I have not taken notice about it. And the reason for why I have not taken notice about it was probably because I, as a white person was in a superior position. The second answer might be that it is a very unusual occurrence in the context I come from, to be the only white. I have been in the minority when it comes to gender, education, age and nationality, but when it comes to race it is very rare.


AT A DINNER IN WASHINGTON HEIGHTS

The first time I really experienced the feeling of being the only white person present in a setting, was at a dinner at a friend´s house in Washington Heights. Except for me at the dinner, there were three young women from South Africa and two Afro American ladies from New York. The discussion came to be quite political, and I listened with a great interest to the other´s stories about different situations, where they had been treated unfairly. That was maybe the first time I felt uneasy and uncomfortable being a white European. I felt guilt. Not that the company wanted to give me that feeling. Nor that the situation was unfriendly, on the contrary it was a very pleasant and nice evening, but until this time, I had not been thinking much about the fact that my black, newfound friends looked upon me in a very different way. I guess my quite naïve thought had been that it all was about whites. To simplify my thoughts a little bit: if only white people changed their mindset, everything would be fine. Or maybe it could be said in other words as that only the white man is the one who can make things in order. But I also think it had to do with lack of knowledge about the situation, both the situation now and how it was fifty years ago. I think that I just couldn´t imagine the anger and frustration that it has lead to among the black people. I started to realize that the controversy was quite mutual. That this simply is what America looks like. Listening to people in my class at school, talking about how “white people do like this and think like that”, sounded very strange to me. Sometimes I felt unfairly accused, sometimes I felt weighted with guilt. I also was a bit astonished by the way Americans in general talked about Europe as colonizers and hungry for ruling over people. It struck me that Americans seemed to have the same view upon Europe, as Europeans have about America. And it actually seems to be that we both are right about each other. It is a fact about America, who today seems to have a desire to be the world police and rule the world, but it is also a fact about Europe that is a continent who has a dark past with colonization and oppression on their conscience. I started to realize that the wounds from the time of colonization are so much deeper among people in the world outside my continent, than the memories are among the Europeans. It also started to be clear to me that a lot of what was said about white people and Europeans, in fact was so true! At least Sweden never had any colonies people use to tell me benevolently. I also tell myself that, when the guilt I feel is too high. That might be so. But in my opinion, the Swedish people sometimes have the mindset of a colonizer as much as any Frenchman or German might have. In fact, the structures of colonization are to be found in many places of our society. Some of those areas of society are in the way women are sometimes treated by men and it is to be found in the Swedish peoples mindset when he is traveling abroad for vacation. It is also to be found in some churches among self-centered and arrogant Christians. It is even found in the way Swedish aid sometimes is given to poor and addicted people and to other parts of the world.

THE LAND OF FAIRY TALES

Now, I want to modify my introduction to this paper a bit. I come from a country, for sure in the north, and wonderful nature is actually to be found almost everywhere, but of course the introduction is romanticized and stereotypical. It is a stereotype based upon what people seem to believe about Sweden, but also how the Swedish people would like to be seen outside of Sweden. People in Sweden are as well short as tall, brown eyed and green eyed as well as blue eyed. They are brown and black haired as well as blond haired. There is also an increasing part of the population, coming from other parts of the world. The water and the air are clean, compared to overpopulated countries in the world, and because of good medical healthcare, based upon high taxes, Swedish people tend to live pretty long. When it comes to equality among people, in that extent it occurs, it is nothing we can give thanks to the Swedish royalties for. Sweden rules by a government through a prime minister, and the ruling party has been Socialist a big part of the recent history. The King, who owns his title by succession, is nothing but a nice attribute to Sweden that makes it possible to keep the stereotype about our country alive. He is also a reminder of that Sweden not is a country of equality. The Swedish government, though, say that

All Swedish citizens have the same fundamental freedoms and rights, irrespective of age, sex or origin. The protection of freedoms and rights is embodied above all in the Instrument of Government, in which it is laid down that public power shall
be exercised with respect for the equal worth of all and the liberty and dignity of the private person

Freedom and equality for each and every one, is deep rooted in the Swedish spirit. The high taxes makes it possible for everyone to get a reasonable life since education is free, health and medical care is subsidized by the government and there is a great opportunity to get social welfare if you are unemployed.

Growing up in Sweden, I was taught that everyone is equal and is also supposed to be treated in that way. I still believe that this is the case, but I also know that people are only treated as equals in Sweden as far as they act and appear in the way that they are expected to be. The general Swede is not a racist, because he or she is taught not to be. But behind the political correctness, you can often find as much intolerance to unlikeness as anywhere. Someone said that the Swedish people are interested and open to different cultures, as long as we are on vacation. When “the other cultures” come to our neighborhood, we get hostile. If you come as an immigrant to Sweden, we treat you as a Swede, if you assimilate yourself into our culture, if you start to talk like us, accept our traditions and holidays and in general have a wish to be Swedish. Swedish political correctness would let people keep their culture and religion, as long as it does not affect our secularized society. The political correct Swede does not either point out immigrants according to their race. Thus, we do not like talking about Serbian Swedes, Chilean Swedes or Iranian Swedes. We want to talk about Swedes. In that way we are not supposed to talk about an extended segregation in Sweden, apart from the suburbs of Stockholm and Gothenburg, which is seen and exposed in the media as problematic areas. So perhaps it was this political correctness that made me feel uneasy, filling in what race I belong to when I applied for NYTS, or else it was just a healthy reaction to a system that actually allows racism openly on a political level. There is a difference between how Sweden and Unites States deal with those questions about race. In some ways skin color or race does not mean anything to the Swedish people, and racism in Sweden is in that way not about skin color. The main opinion is more that the immigrants come and take our jobs and live on our welfare. But there is a fact that those the general Swede signify as immigrants, blamed for this, does not include Frenchmen, Germans, Americans or Englishmen. “Immigrants”, is what we mean when we talk about people from Iran, African countries, Chile, former Yugoslavia, Russia, etc. So then we can see that race and skin color has a meaning even though it is more hidden in Sweden. This hidden way of looking upon race, might hinder people from keeping their culture and identity, from wanting to assimilate as much as possible, or it might simply lead to an integration that is good for both the native Swedes and immigrated Swedes.

I knew the situation was different in United States. I knew that this country is much more segregated, and that race has a greater importance. The US also has a shorter and totally different history and is also a much larger country where minorities are a big part of the population. It is not a new phenomenon that the population of US endures of people of various decent, that is even the history of the country. The problem in the US seems not in the first case to be that Afro Americans are not allowed to be Afro Americans, or Hispanics Hispanics, but rather the order of rank in society. That blacks and whites are looked upon differently, was something I experienced last time I visited United States with my boyfriend at that time, born of Indian parents, but apparently looking very “black”. Visiting a church in Minneapolis, a lady saw me kissing him goodbye, since we were supposed to spend the night in different places. The lady told one of my friends: “I saw this white girl kiss that black guy, I would NEVER let my daughter kiss a black guy!” I remember feeling a little bit sad and uneasy, but mostly we just laughed at it. Looking upon her as an upper middle- age, upper middle-class, quite conservative woman not representative for the American people in large. We could have got the same reaction from a woman (or man) in Sweden, but in that case, you could almost be sure that she would have come from the older generation. Coming to US this time, I realized that this woman probably was more representative for the Americans than I would have wished her to be. I think it was a little bit of a cultural shock to realize how serious the segregation really is. That black people and white people in general never hang out together was not really surprising, but again, the fact that it also bothered black people, as much as white people, was shat struck me the most.


CULTURE TAKEN AWAY OR DENIED?

I remember sitting in one class, one of my classmates, an Afro American man, talked with passion and anger about how their culture had been taken away from them. First when they were taken away from Africa as slaves and then how the slavery prevented them from keeping a common culture. A couple of weeks ago, I was on a trip to the South, Called “Going Home.” On the trip we were supposed to study the Civil Rights Movement and the roots and the history of the Afro-American people. Standing at the edge of an old cotton field in Mississippi, my friend Felicia and I, said to each other: “What if these fields could talk?” When the African people were taken away from their continent, their culture was totally left behind. There was no space left for them to supply their culture further to coming generations. With inhumane hard work, torture and oppression they were made to be a people without culture and with their identities stolen. To colonize a people and keep this people apart from their identity is the most effective way to keep oppression strong. Frantz Fanon, cited by H.A Martiínez-Vázquez, says that “colonialism is not satisfied merely with holding a people in its grip and emptying the native´s brain of all form and content” but “by a perverted logic, it turns to the past of the oppressed people, and distorts, disfigures and destroys it.” These people, that were held as slaves, were not even colonized in their own country, on their own ground. Even the soil of their forefathers was pulled away under their feet. A people needs history. History creates identity, and gives us an understanding for who we are. There is a history from the time of the slavery, but it is in large an untold one, because nobody can tell it. Held as slaves, people did not have the possibility to learn to read or to write. Because of that, very few stories by people are saved for future generations. Thus, we have very little knowledge about the personal stories and destinies from these people. So, what if these fields could talk? We would probably have a bunch of amazing as well as terrible stories of life destinies to listen to!

When it comes to my own history, my family, on my mother´s side derives from Finland in Scandinavia. Scandinavia in the beginning of the 20th century was poor and very different from what it is today. Millions of Scandinavians migrated to America at that time. So did also many of my ancestors. Several of my great grandparents were born, or moved to the New York area in the turn of the century. One of them, Isak, was born in Finland, but moved to New York and lived for a while in the Bronx, where he worked hard and earned money so he eventually could go back to Finland and get married to my great grandmother. Sadly, she died recently after giving birth to a son, my grandfather. Isak, then moved back to New York and lived here for many years before he went back to Finland to grow old there. This fascinating and sad destiny of a young man´s life is also my story and part of my history. It is important for me to know about it, because it gives me an understanding of who I am. It also connects me both to history and to different parts of the world, Finland and New York. I told Felicia my story about Isak, while we were standing at the edge of the cotton field. At the same time my ancestors moved to America, which was seen as the land of possibilities, to work as free men, her´s were held as slaves in the South. Both the connection and the difference between us, Felicia and myself, and our histories, became suddenly very obvious. The land of possibilities for one was at the same time the land that took all human rights away from and limited the life of another.

In contrary to Afro Americans, who feel their history and culture in large is taken away and mutilated by the white American´s, I belong to a country and a people who can boast with a rich and old culture. When I listen to my classmate expressing the grief he feels over the loss of their culture, I think about how Swedes generally treat our history and culture. In many ways we deny our culture. I will explain what I mean: It is a fact that culture is not a constant. It is dynamic. It moves and changes all the time. That is what happens when people move from one part of the world to another. Exchange of culture has been part of our history as long as human beings have been part of it. That is what we recognize as progression. Progression is thus, cultures influenced by each other. Maybe the greatest influence on Swedish culture nowadays is the American culture, where I would say that the Afro American culture is a significant part. Influence also comes from cultures of those people who have immigrated to Sweden. Hence there is difficult to say what is “genuine Swedish” or genuine for any culture. What was typically Swedish fifty years ago might have changed. A good example of that is how you can find old Swedish culture still alive in parts of America, for example Minnesota, where Swedish people settled down hundreds of years ago. When I go there, I recognize it as Swedish, but their expression of Swedish culture, is not what makes me, a woman of the 21st century feel Swedish today. Culture has changed since the Swedish ancestors of the Minnesotans left the country of Sweden. In Minnesota this culture has been conserved, and reflects Sweden and how the culture of Sweden looked like a long time ago. Culture is a mirror of the people. Since people are changing, culture does the same. Even though culture changes all the time, we can never deny where we come from, and that is when history becomes important. We can only understand where we are right now, if we understand how we came here. For the black people, much of that history is taken away and they are denied the access to their roots and understanding of where they are right now.

It is interesting though to note the influence the Afro American culture has on the world today. If you go to any High School in Stockholm, you can tell from the way many of the boys dress, that they are influenced by the hip- hop culture. The music that most people listen to has Afro American roots, and if you visit the more charismatic churches they are influenced by black churches in the US when it comes to music and worship. Some black people would say that once again their culture is taken away from them by the white people, who now makes Afro-American culture their own, not knowing where the music, the clothes and the language come from, and in that way the oppression can keep going on. Others would say that it is something that is good for the Afro American people, because it uplifts them and their culture. First of all, I think that this is something unavoidable. As long as a culture is exposed to the rest of the world, other people and cultures are going to be affected by it. Especially in the world of globalization we now live in, that tends to bring us closer and closer to each other. It is the cultural parts that attract people that are picked up. Saying that, means that people must have a positive understanding of a great part of the Afro American culture. In my opinion, the Swedish people are very aware of the Afro American roots. In fact I would say that the Afro American culture in many ways is admired. An example of that, is among jazz musicians, where a black jazz musician has a much “higher status” than a white one. So maybe the biggest problem in Sweden is not that we steel the culture and then put our own sign onto it, but could it perhaps be that we have a fascinating, exotic feeling about the Afro American people? What Edward Said once called Orientalism in his book with the same title . I am sure we can find different opinions and mindsets among people, and I want to say that the “admiration” for sure can be true and real. But in that case, that there is an exotic fascination about the Afro-American culture might be correct, the saying about the Swede, mentioned above, makes sense: That we Swedes are open and interested in other cultures as long as the different culture stays at the vacation resort. If this is true, it brings the Swede sadly close to the mindset of imperialism.


RELIGION AND CULTURE

Let me also say something about religion and culture. Religion and culture go hand in hand. In Sweden, Christianity has been the religion, officially since the 11th century. All over the country we can find churches from that time that remind us about our Christian history. In the beginning, Christianity had to compete with the ancient religion of Sweden, but as time moved on, Christianity more and more took the place of the old religion and became closely tied together with the culture. What has happened the last hundred years, though, is that Sweden has been a secular country. The Church was separated from the government as late as the turn of the millennium, but secularization has been going on ever since the enlightenment, though more seriously during the last century. The Christian church seems to become less and less important for the Swedish people. Listening to many of the secularized Swedes, the Church, as a power of the government, has caused wounds by oppression in people´s lives that will take a long time to repair. The separation from the government was unavoidable and necessary in my opinion, and it has brought a lot of good things, for example the total freedom of religion. No longer is one born in to a religion. That is also an important step that makes it easier for immigrants, since many of the immigrants in our country belong to other religions than Christianity. Religion and culture tends to have a declining importance among Swedes, but on the other hand it seems to be more important to people that have moved away from their country to live in another culture. An interesting controversy shows up now. What happens in the postmodern and politically correct Sweden is that people persistently deny that our culture is formed partly by Christianity. Cultural roots are deep. 1000 years affection from religion on a culture is not to be taken away only in 25 years. When the secular Swede then meets immigrated people, to which religion and culture is a great part of life, we have a conflict. The conflict is that one people who deny a big part of their culture is supposed to live side by side to other people, for whom culture and religion is important. They will not understand each other. Another important fact is the one that the dynamic of the culture is denied. We Swedes, tends sometimes to look upon our culture as something genuine and unique, which it of course is, in that way that it is as genuine and unique as other cultures are. The stereotypical introduction of this paper, even though obviously romanticized, is a view many Swedes want to believe in, in comparison to other nationalities. And in many ways, like I said, that is something good that gives us identity, but we also tend to forget that our culture has been affected by other cultures as long as man in fact has lived in the northern part of the world we today call Sweden. Clinging on to a culture and denying its dynamics and changes, is to cling on to a stereotype. Swedish people truly believe in the fact that they are the stereotypical beautiful, peace loving people in the exotic north. Clinging on to a stereotype and to a stereotype of other people, is in my opinion another way of denying one´s culture. Depending on the self-esteem of the people who cling on to the stereotype, it can also be a useful tool in the ranking of people and cultures. We learned from Frantz Fanton that a people with their culture taken away, is easier to keep under oppression. But what happens when a people who seems to be in the superior position deny their own culture? Since Swedes tends to be of the opinion that immigrants should be like Swedes, it should mean that we want to take religion and culture away from the immigrated people, and then, if Fanton is right, we can still have the control over those people.

I want to stop for a while and make the connection between the oppression of the Afro Americans and why many Swedes leave the church with bitterness because there are some similar features. For me as a white Christian, and even more importantly, a Lutheran, it is important to see these similarities. As in many other parts of the world people were oppressed by the church in Sweden for many years. The state church was Lutheran denomination after the 16th century and had not only a great affect on the lives of people by preaching doom and punishment, but it also has a sad history of blood and death. As late as in the 18th century, women were burned to death as witches. Thousands of innocent women were killed during centuries, genocides that in highest extent were supported by the church. One of the reasons for why people had to move from Scandinavia, in the last centuries of the last millennia, was because of the fact that they were put into prison if they were not willing to follow the doctrine of the Lutheran church. This oppression is of course not of the same extent as what happened to the Afro American people, but I think it is legitimate to compare them by the fact that the personal suffering that happened to each and everyone was the same. So are also the wounds that are left. Once again, the wounds are deeper in the oppressed, than in the oppressor, and if the church does not understand why people want lo leave it, maybe that is one of the points where we have to start. In the terrifying history of its own. I also have to say something about how I as a Christian as well as white, sometimes feel that I am suspiciously met by non-Christians as well as blacks. What is important is that, I have never chosen to be white, but I have made a choice to be a Christian. I can´t take responsibility for all bad things that white people have done throughout history even though it is important for me to be aware. When it comes to religion, I think it is one of my plights to show that the church nowadays stands for something different. There are still a large number of whites that are racist, and we have a lot to do before we reach equality between races, but that does not mean that all whites want it to be like this. In the same way there are still many Christians and Christian churches who wants to convert all unbelievers to be like them, but there are also a large number of Christians, churches and organizations that lay down their lives to make the world be a better place to live in by letting people be who they are. By being aware of the history we have to start building up a trust between people. Even though I feel unfairly accused sometimes for what my ancestors did, with knowledge about history I might be able to understand that suspicion. Maybe it is not my job to tell these people not to be bitter. I do believe that bitterness is the first oppressive force to get rid of. That liberation from all oppressors in the world does not lead to liberation if bitterness is still there, but that is not my task to tell them. My task is to participate in building up a mutual trust by showing that I, as a white and a Christian, want the world to be a better place for every one to live in. Not only when it comes to blacks and whites, Christians and non-Christians, but all races and religions, genders, sexualities, among all human beings on the earth. That is in my opinion the only way we can move on and look to the future, instead of clinging on to the past, both as a church and as a people.


MY BLOG

Dialogue and discussion is important in this process. Dialogue and discussion are both dependent on that at least two persons participate where it is of importance that both parts are both listener and speaker. A modern way of discussing is through the Internet. I created a Blog when I came to the US. On my blog site, it is possible for me to express my experiences in this country, as well as get reactions and responses on my thoughts, which gives me a good opportunity to try my thoughts and to think further. It also gives me the chance to influence and inspire my readers, who mostly are Swedish people. A couple of times, I have brought up these feelings and thoughts about racism and how we relate ourselves to it. On March 22nd, I wrote:

“Our political correctness in Sweden, prevents us from confessing our own prejudices. Instead, we let them peacefully grow under the surface. Our fear of conflicts and carefulness, prevent us from dealing with these problems, by fear of hurting somebody. Thus, we are not able to solve these problems. I do not encourage racist opinions to be yelled in the streets, but we need to take away our carefulness and have an open debate. That is the only way racist opinion can be opposed.”

The response I got was astonishing. Some thought that I was too hard on myself and others, others said that they do absolutely not have prejudices to deal with when it came to race, a statement more worrying than any else, since I am of the opinion that belief that one has no prejudices, is the worst prejudice of them all. Sometimes I wondered if we meant the same things, but at the point where I was standing, was it difficult for me to explain things in a way so that my Swedish friends actually understood what I was saying. This made me extra aware that we always have to try to put ourselves outside our own context and try to “translate” our own words so the listener will understand. Sometimes I also got the feeling that my readers were of an indifferent opinion. What I could read from my friend´s comments made me sometimes feel even more uneasy because much of what my classmates mentioned during class seemed to be so real!


WE SHALL OVERCOME

One night, I listened to Rev. Jesse Jackson and other people working for the Civil Rights Movement, speak at NYTS. We ended the meeting with standing together, holding hands, and singing “We shall overcome”, which worked as an encouraging and inspiring way to end the meeting. In Rinkeby, one of the most segregated suburbs of Stockholm in the early 90s, the same song was tried, but it had a totally different effect at that point. In Stockholm, in the beginning of the 90s the situation was threatening to immigrants, or people with “a foreign look”, since someone had decided to take a gun with a sight of laser, and shoot dark skinned people. Around a dozen persons were shot and a couple of them were killed by this “laser-man.” The general opinion among people at this time also seemed to have hardened against immigrants. One of the parties in the Swedish government had, if you examined their opinions deeper, pure racist ideas. During a debate about racism and hostility against strangers on February 5, 1992 in Rinkeby, outside Stockholm, the atmosphere was all but calm and people were very upset. One of the politicians, Birgit Friggebo, finally tried to calm down people by suggest them to sing “We shall overcome” together. The suggestion failed. The upset crowd got even more upset. There she was, as a representative for the wealthy, Swedish government that seemed to do nothing for making the situation better for immigrants. And she was the one who told them to calm down. She, with her Scandinavian look, did not have to worry about someone sighting on her with a laser gun on her way home from the subway because of her race, she did not have to worry about whether she was supposed to get a job or not because of the color of her skin or because of the spelling of her last name. People simply got provoked. These were my thoughts while I was singing We shall overcome, together with all these people, everybody obviously concerned about working for a common goal saying equality for everyone. Depending on the context, depending on who says what to whom, the same phrase, the same words can have different meanings. I wrote about this experience in my blog that night:

“ A typical example of how words can be encouraging and supporting in one context, while they seem to be hostile and mocking in another. Of course depending on people´s different histories and experiences, and who says what to whom.”

Again people reacted. Some agreed with me. Others said that what Birgit Friggebo did was brave. That she at least had a good intention. Maybe it was brave, and maybe she had good intentions. I am sure she had. But is that enough? Is that enough if you are a minister of cultures and integration, in a country where the people that are supposed to integrate, feel anxiety for their lives and safety? Is that enough if you are a member of the world community and your fellow members feel anxiety for their lives and safety? Can we only trust our own good intention, or is it just a comfortable way for us to excuse ourselves from doing anything about the situation? The answer is complex of course. There is always a risk that we get stuck in our own ideas and experiences. But I think it is important to be aware about the fact that we have a different understanding for words and things that are said. That is why we have to listen to each other, study the history, and by that try to understand each other. Perhaps we do our best and we can´t do more, but we also have to be aware that “our best” might not be enough.


WHY SHOULD I BOTHER?

These four months in the US have affected me a lot, perhaps more than I know today. For a long time I have had the feeling that the issue about equality among people is of great importance. These four months has given me an even stronger feeling that this is something I want to continue working for. Sometimes, though, I have wondered why I feel that engaged for the work for equality between people. Why should I even bother? I have felt myself questioned for that. What can I actually know about oppression? I am not black, nor Hispanic. I am not a homosexual, not even poor, when it really comes to it. Instead I am a good-looking, blue-eyed, fake-brunette European, white, middle class and educated. Everything that receives benefits of the society and that not needs to be redeemed politically or socially. I have no knowledge of how it is to be oppressed because of the color of the skin, sexuality or because of low income. But of course even I have experienced oppression. For example that I am woman makes me know how it feels to be part of a system that does not treat women as equal to men. Probably my experience is nothing compared to what many others have gone through, but that is the only place where I can start, in my own experience and understanding of myself. When I understand my history and put myself and my experiences into a context, that is when I can start to understand others and make connections to other people´s history all over the world. Just like what happened on the edge of the cotton field in Mississippi when my friend and I were standing there talking to each other.


CONCLUSION

I have felt frustration sometimes over the differences between me and others, both people from other cultures and from my own. I have felt overwhelmed when I have felt a “connection” to people with a totally different background and history than my own. I have felt hopelessness for humanity when I look upon the indifference for the world so many people seem to have. But I have also felt hopeful for humanity when I have read about and listened to people that really believe in and work for making the world to a better place to live in for humanity. Like Martin Luther King Jr, who believed in the dream of making the world a better place through nonviolence and without bitterness, I also want to believe in that dream. I want my life to be a work and an ambition for the world to be a better place to live in for ALL people. I want to believe it is possible to come to a point when we trust each other and we look upon each other beyond race, class or title. Maybe we can never reach the goal, but that is the object of our dream. Perhaps it is unrealistic and it is never going to be more than a vision, but let it be an unrealistic vision then. I think the road to reach the dream is as important as the goal itself. Trying to learn to know humanity is a good start. Through the study of history and listening to people´s stories, we can come closer to each other, and then understand each other better. When we learn to know each other, we can look behind attributes and surface, and it becomes important no more. When we know each other we are allowed to see behind the surface, we can see the needs of humanity.

Perhaps my view about the Swedish people sometime seem to be very rough and judging. That is how I have felt about Sweden sometimes during my stay here. Sometimes I have had the same feeling about Americans and about the rest of the world that are in a superior position. I do not think that any people white or black, Swedish, American or whatever, is of a nature that tends to oppress or act in an imperialistic way more than any other. I think that it is more of the human nature itself. Whenever we come in a superior position, there is always a risk that we push down the weaker. It might be a dark understanding of humanity, but sadly enough I think it is true. What else is true, though, is that the human being always can change. There is always a possibility for her to change the future, and make it better than the past.

Life is a journey, and I am in the middle of it. The nature of being on a journey is to feel like a stranger sometimes, but there are also places where it “feels like coming home.” The trip to the South was such a time to me, even though it was far away from pure, crisp air and cold winters with skiing in the mountains, I felt that what I experienced in Mississippi, Alabama and Tennessee, what I heard people tell about the Civil Rights Movement and their work for equality among human beings, was in harmony with the direction of my journey. Just like I felt when the wheels of the Stockholm flight hit the ground in Newark this past January, I got the feeling of being in “the right place” in my life. My expectations of what my stay in New York would be like were perhaps high when it comes to it. Perhaps I expected that I was going to feel “like home” here. But I don´t think that I knew in what way. That this home was to be found among newfound friends on a trip to the South, was nothing that I had expected. I have always been a person “on the move.” Ever since I for the first time took my first step into “the world that is not quite as simple as it first appeared,” I have been walking. For every step I take, I am never going to be the same anymore. For every step I take I will have new understanding and experience and see the world from new perspectives. Some things will not change. The steps I have been taking so far, I can never regret, but I can always decide where I want to put my next step. Maybe we will continue tell stories in front of the fireplace in the cold north. I hope though, the stories can give us an understanding for who we are, and I hope that we also can tell each other visions about the future. Then, after resting a while, we might be able to keep on going. By being on the move I hope that we can avoid clinging on to stereotypes, and also avoid acting like them. Instead we can have our sight directed on the future and to a common goal.